37 weeks
At 37 weeks pregnant, I think it's expected that a woman can be an emotional basket case a lot of the time. This has been the case in this pregnancy more than the others. Lee and I have pretty much decided that this will be our last baby, and that thought alone is very difficult for me to grasp. I LOVE being pregnant. I LOVE having babies. (Except for the part where they have to be surgically removed from my abdomen.) I love bonding with them from the moment I get a positive pregnancy test, through the first time I feel them kick, hear their heartbeat, feel them have the hiccups (all 4 have been major hiccupers), hear their first cry, and then...at long last...get to look eye-to-eye at the little person God has created and chosen to give me. I love the fact that I can unconditionally love this person instantly...something I've never experienced with anyone else.
So being that I'm at the end of my final pregnancy, I'm trying so hard to notice and capture every moment I have left. Not that I didn't with the others, but just knowing that a lot of the experiences are "lasts" makes it more special, yet often more difficult. This leads me to the title of this entry. I was just doing some grocery shopping this morning, and as I grabbed a bottle of prenatal vitamins, it hit me...this is the last bottle I'll ever buy. May sound silly, but it brought on a wave of sadness so strong that there I was, crying in the vitamin aisle. I've been taking these since October of 2002. And knowing it's my last bottle is just another sign that I'm at the end of an HUGE chapter in my life. I experience several of these signs daily and cry over most of them. I think a lot of why I get this way is because of how difficult and painful it was for us to begin this chapter in the first place; I thought I would never get to have a baby. And now here we are, just 11 days away from having our last...
Okay I'm sorry for the Debbie Downer post. I'll try to lighten things up a bit. As emotionally draining as my day can sometimes be, I am also LOVING all the fun our family is having. The kids are so much fun and play so well together. I'm really looking forward to this summer with them. Here are a few pictures from the past few weeks.
picking the kids up from Mimi Day
sleeping kid pictures...
Notice Annalee sleeps with her eyes half-open, kinda creepy.
Addie is usually in some strange position.
Brady always has puppy near by!
Megan and I with our diaper shower hostesses
Annalee LOVES to chase butterflies...and finally caught one!
giving Camper a bath
chillin' with Dad
In yet another life lesson about things not going as planned, I write this entry on the day Dawson was supposed to be born. He decided to come a few days early...
Funny story: when the doctor pulled Dawson out, he peed on him & the assisting surgeon. Then he peed on his pediatrician 3 times while he was getting circumcised. I'm thinking this kid has an aversion to doctors or something!
meeting big brother
